#31: Your Ego might be your worst enemy
How to spot if you have and Ego problem and some steps to solve it
Hey friends,
First and foremost, I want you to help me make a choice.
As this newsletter and the content I put out go outside the tech roles, I want to change the name of the newsletter, and here are some options I am considering.
Please tell me which option sounds better for you:
(If you have additional name suggestions for a newsletter focused on career growth and becoming better leaders, please reply to the email or comment on the post.)
1/ A few updates from my side.
As I told you last week, I want to build an email course along the lines of “from contributor to leader”; better said, I wanted to build this course.
In the meantime, I figured out it’s a too complex subject for an email course, so I will tackle it in a different form sometime in the future.
But I still want to build a short, probably free, course. I only changed the topic, and it will now have the working title:
Career Acceleration: A Week to Fast-Track Your Professional Growth
Unfortunately, I did not progress that much on this course because I decided to embark on a very ambitious project that already takes a lot of time.
I decided to enroll in an MBA program that starts this December.
And before I start the actual in-person courses, I need to study and pass five exams:
Business Finance
Accounting
Quantitative Research Techniques and Statistics
Microeconomics
Write and Cite
For an engineer who worked in tech all his life, these topics are unfamiliar, so I spent most of my free time last week studying for them.
The good part is that I already passed the first two this weekend. The not-so-great part is that I need to pass the other three in the next ten days.
I will keep you posted about my progress, and in a future letter, I will tell you more about the program too.
Last week, I also participated in a volunteer action.
One of the things I like most about Deloitte in Romania is that the company is involved in a lot of volunteering and charity events, and they support the employees’ involvement in these events by giving us two days per year to participate in them.
And this Friday, we went to a kids center that receives dozens of children from vulnerable communities in the area daily for after-school activities, counseling, and play, under the guidance of educators and other specialists.
We helped assemble the furniture and set up the programming lab and a multifunctional room, as well as paint the outside fence.
It was a fun and fulfilling activity that I wish to repeat as soon as I can.
PS: I am now an expert in assembling chairs from IKEA, so let me know if you need help.
2/ Taming the Ego for Career Growth
Image credits: https://www.reviewofreligions.org/38918/ego-is-the-enemy-a-lesson-on-arrogance-humility/
I want to expand a bit on a post I put out last week on LinkedIn about how ego affects your career growth.
I've witnessed a common stumbling block that holds back many promising employees on their journey to success:
The notorious ego.
I’ll first start with a true story from my past.
I once had a team leader on my team; let’s call her Anna.
Anna was a talented and ambitious mid-level development manager. Highly skilled, her work was consistently receiving praise from clients and colleagues.
She was on a fast track to career success.
However, Anna’s growing ego became a hindrance to her career progression.
She started to dismiss input from her team members, thinking that her ideas were always superior.
In meetings, she dominated discussions and often disregarded the suggestions and concerns of her peers.
She started to think that her way was the best and failed to consider alternative approaches.
Additionally, Anna was resistant to feedback.
When I attempted to provide constructive criticism to help her improve, she became defensive and attributed any issues to external factors or her colleagues' incompetence.
She refused to acknowledge her own areas for growth, believing she was already near-perfect in her role.
As a result, Anna’s relationships within the team deteriorated.
Her colleagues started feeling undervalued, disengaged, and demotivated due to her dismissive attitude.
Despite her technical skills, she missed out on valuable opportunities for mentorship and collaboration because she was unwilling to admit that she didn't have all the answers.
Eventually, her inability to work effectively with others and her resistance to feedback hindered her growth.
She was passed over for a promotion to a more senior role that she had been eyeing, despite her technical competence.
She left the company, angry and frustrated that the company did not know how to treat the best employees.
We've all encountered individuals who firmly believe that a grand conspiracy is preventing them from reaching the pinnacle of their careers. They're convinced that those in positions of power only got there because they were friends with the right people. These are the individuals who think they have all the answers.
How do you spot these people? Here’s a list of common signs:
Always Seeking the Spotlight: Individuals with big egos often crave the spotlight and will go to great lengths to draw attention to themselves. They may constantly interrupt others, dominate meetings, or insist on being the center of attention during discussions.
Inability to Accept Feedback: They struggle to accept constructive criticism. They may become defensive or dismissive when their work is evaluated, making it difficult for others to provide meaningful feedback.
Self-Promotion Over Collaboration: Rather than working collaboratively, ego-driven individuals tend to prioritize self-promotion. They may take credit for team achievements, downplay the contributions of others, or resist sharing knowledge and credit.
Name-Dropping and Bragging: Individuals with big egos often drop names, brag about their accomplishments, or exaggerate their abilities to bolster their image. They may use phrases like "Do you know who I am?" or constantly reference their achievements.
Resistance to Change: Ego-driven individuals may resist change or new ideas that challenge their existing beliefs or methods. They may believe that their way is the only right way and resist adapting to evolving circumstances.
Overly Competitive: While healthy competition can drive performance, individuals with big egos may take competition to an extreme. They view every interaction as a competition and prioritize winning at all costs, even if it damages relationships.
Lack of Empathy: Ego-driven individuals may struggle to empathize with others' perspectives or emotions. They may be dismissive of others' feelings, seeing them as inconsequential to their own goals.
Unwillingness to Admit Mistakes: One of the clearest signs of a big ego is an inability to admit when they are wrong. They might deflect blame onto others, make excuses, or deny any wrongdoing, even in the face of overwhelming evidence.
Impatience and Intolerance: Individuals with big egos may display impatience with those they perceive as less capable or knowledgeable. They might be intolerant of differing opinions and dismissive of alternative viewpoints.
Excessive Self-Importance: Lastly, a pervasive sense of self-importance is a hallmark of a big ego. These individuals may act as if their work and opinions are of unparalleled significance, often disregarding the contributions of others.
If one or more of the above describes you, it might be time to reflect on where you are and what you can do to change.
Here are a few actionable steps you can take over the next few months to shed that ego and open up new avenues for growth:
Seek Constructive Feedback with Open Arms: Make a conscious effort to solicit constructive feedback from colleagues and superiors.
When you receive it, resist the urge to become defensive. Instead, embrace it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Celebrate the Success of Others: Shift your perspective from competition to collaboration. Go out of your way to recognize and celebrate the accomplishments of your peers.
Elevating others doesn't diminish your worth—it strengthens your team and fosters a positive work environment.
Embrace Accountability: When you make a mistake (and we all do), own up to it immediately. Avoid the temptation to justify or make excuses.
Admitting your errors demonstrates integrity and a commitment to personal and professional growth.
Now, let's revisit the undeniable truth:
Ego stands as a formidable barrier to learning.
It keeps us closed off from valuable feedback, prevents us from acknowledging our mistakes, and blinds us to areas where we could improve.
Successful individuals who have reached the pinnacle of their careers don't carry around massive egos.
They possess an unwavering drive, fueled by curiosity and self-awareness.
They understand that titles and positions are earned through hard work, not granted as favors.
They focus on continual improvement rather than insisting on being right.
By adopting a humble mindset, you'll forge meaningful relationships and cultivate the skills necessary for the next level in your career.
Your abilities will speak for themselves.
3/ Book Recommendation: “What got you here won’t get you there.”
"What Got You Here Won't Get You There" is a bestselling book by Marshall Goldsmith that explores the concept of personal and professional development.
It came up on almost all book lists when I searched for “career growth” and “executive coaching”.
Surprisingly, the title was never that appealing to me, so I had it on my “to-read” list for more than a decade.
But a couple of weeks ago, I decided to give it a try.
And I’m glad I did.
The book argues that the skills and behaviors that lead to success at one stage of your career may not be sufficient for further advancement.
Goldsmith emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, interpersonal skills, and the ability to change one's behavior to continue growing and advancing in your career.
The book provides practical advice and real-life examples to help readers identify and overcome common workplace challenges and habits that can hinder their progress.
Here are my top 5 ideas from the book:
Success Can Be a Barrier to Further Success: Start by acknowledging that your past successes may not guarantee future achievements. Avoid complacency and always seek new challenges and opportunities for growth.
Self-Awareness is Critical: Take the time to reflect on your own behavior and identify any flaws or limiting habits. Seek feedback from colleagues or use self-assessment tools to gain a better understanding of your strengths and weaknesses.
Behavioral Pitfalls: Recognize and actively work on common behavioral challenges that may hinder your progress. For example, practice active listening, avoid interrupting others, and be mindful of your tendency to be overly critical.
Feedback and Feedforward: Actively seek feedback from others and be open to constructive criticism. Additionally, start using the "feedforward" approach by asking for suggestions on how to improve your future performance and behavior.
Continuous Improvement: Commit to a mindset of continuous improvement. Set specific goals for personal and professional development, and regularly assess your progress. Be proactive in making changes to enhance your leadership and interpersonal skills.
It will probably become my go-to resource for individuals looking to enhance their leadership abilities and navigate the complexities of career growth.
But you have to read it to believe it.
Have a great week!
Thank you for reading, and let me know if you liked something in particular in this newsletter.
Until next time,
Leo
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P.S. 2: If you want to take your productivity to the next level, check out my extensive Productivity course that can accelerate your career.