#88: Christmas with Zeno
The perfect Holiday gift
👋 Hey, Leo here! Welcome to The Tech Leadership Playbook. Each week, I explain the concepts needed to become a better tech leader and grow your career. Subscribe to get every issue in your inbox.
Hey Friends,
Welcome to the 88th edition of my newsletter.
First, I hope you didn’t get sick from all the food you ate during the holidays.
I don’t know how things are where you’re from, but in Romania, Christmas involves a lot of eating and drinking. It might be a Balkan thing, but since I can remember, the 3 days of Christmas meant visiting a different friend or relative each day. And it’s not the type of visit where you eat a meal, drink a glass of wine, and head home.
No, my friend.
The “meal” meant 10-14 people at the table, starting to eat around noon and going home after 7 PM. During this time, you would have about four courses (including "sarmale," pork, and sausages), several rounds of coffee, and at least “cozonac” for dessert. Wine would be poured in large quantities, and discussions would heat up at some point. You would exchange gifts and kiss at the end.
Go home, sleep, and repeat.
If you’re married, you have to go to the husband’s family one day, to the wife’s family the next, and you would probably visit your godparents the third day, not necessarily in this order.
And as crazy as it sounds, I would enjoy it every time.
Look, I left my hometown when I was 18. My parents and my sister’s family still live in my hometown. I used to come home quite often, but then I started coming less and less. But I was always home for Christmas, spending it with them.
Then, my father passed away, and it was just my mother.
I married and came home with my wife and spent the 25 with my mom each year.
She was always very happy to have us there.
This year was the only year we couldn’t go home… and Mom had to spend Christmas alone.
Even though it sounds like a sad story, it is not. It’s actually a very happy one.
Because a few days before Christmas, our son, Zeno, was born.
It’s hard to express how I’ve felt in the past week or so.
From the day I stood waiting in the hallway for my wife to give birth to the first time I held him in my arms and to our first night at home, I went through a whirlwind of emotions.
Fear. Anxiousness. Relief. Wonder.
And above all, happiness.
I won’t admit it; it has not been the easiest week.
But it was among the best in my life. Hard to top it.
I slept only a couple of hours in the first night.
I still watch him when he’s sleeping to make sure he breathes.
The fact that he’s here, knowing he was the size of a pea eight months before, is the closest I’ve been to experiencing wonder in my life.
I learned how to change a diaper.
How to bathe him with one hand above the sink (he’s so small!).
And I still feel I could cry each time I look him in those baby blue eyes.
Also, since I am off these days and I spend a lot of time holding him in my arms or watching him fall asleep, I am thinking a lot about my life moving forward and my priorities. I feel like my whole perspective on it all will change a lot in the near future.
It also changed a lot my perspective on my parents. I judged them too harsh, too often. Seeing what it means to take care of a baby, I was not fair. This experience added a whole new dimension to the respect I have for parents.
Especially mothers.
Of course, I am doing my best to be a good dad, but mothers are the ones who carry the baby inside for nine months, give birth, and breastfeed them. As much as I would want to, every time I cannot stop him from crying, my wife steps in and she succeeds.
My wife is the real hero of this story, and she will be my hero forever.
Cheers to you, Miki!
I have to stop writing; Zeno woke up.
I hope I don’t become that parent who shares hundreds of photos of their child online. But I can’t promise that.
Recommendations:
I rewatched one of my favorite movies this Christmas, Edward Scissorhands. This scene always makes me emotional.
I follow and enjoy Sorin’s newsletters. In this edition, he collected the best articles from 2024.
This week I finished the book Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection by Charles Duhigg. Published in February 2024, the book delves into the art and science of effective communication. Duhigg explores how certain individuals, termed "supercommunicators," adeptly navigate conversations to build connections and achieve successful outcomes.
He identifies three types of conversations:
practical (What's this really about?)
emotional (How do we feel?)
and social (Who are we?)
and emphasizes the importance of recognizing and matching each type to enhance communication.
Well, I hope you liked this edition.
Thank you for reading, and join me in the comments section for further discussions!
Leo
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